On the way down

There's just so much on my mind.

I don't know where to begin.

Trial exams? The confusing state of my mind? The fact I am physically incapable of restraining myself from pigging out at home?

Sometimes I feel so listless, I want to scream around the block, "What's the point??"
Sometimes I feel so inspired, I embark on a 4-hour study session (hopefully this happens everyday).

The fact is, I love being at home 10000000x more than being at KY. Don't get me wrong, KY is special, amazing teachers, good friends but I do feel disillusioned there, like something is not quite real. Why oh why? Maybe I'm just tired of judgemental ppl. We find 'em everywhere.

I'm also confused about this one other thing that I can't talk about. I only get confused when I think about my long-term plans. Otherwise the state of the union is almost-perfect now.
I dare not jeopardise it.